dox Seminaries, Orthodox the True Church,
his milestones for
May 2 to May 08, 2010
. Sunday I sang in the choir. I thought of the desire for a house of my own in Springfield. I wanted to visit our past Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts, I.O.O.F., Michael Beaulieu (2004), but still I just could not seem to get there.
Please pray, I am very concerned and feel weakened. My back and especially my neck muscles hurt. The professionals still say I need hearing aids in both ears. Maybe the thing to do in stead is enter a monestary at Mt. Athos. Or maybe create a monastic like setting here for people to live thier last years in. That thought might have some meit.
The pain in my arms, often feels like the muscles are atrophying; as if I were "dying" inside. sometimes is is really painful, as if the muscles are being torn away from my bones. I could not get to class Tuesday once again having difficulty getting up. So I know it is probably more nerves. I saw my neurologist and last week and he agreed that I was loosing my muscle tone. No suggestion as to what to do. As I said, it hurts.
I got up to college by 7:45AM on Friday and the bus was already almost full. The Architecture Club at Springfield Technical Community College is taking a club tour, and our leadership has selected two mansions in Newport Rhode Island as our destination. We will go first to the Breakers and then to the Elms, and after that we will eat at the Red Parrot Resturant. I could do without the eating, but he club always seems to think a fine resturant is a must do thing. I was so happy that my instructor offered to help me with the cost of the resturant, as he knew I just did not have money to budget for that. The tours were "self guided" with little boxes and headphones to tell you about what you were seeing. I could go back and spend a day at each of the sites. Soaking up what it was like to live there. It was very much like what I experienced as a child at Peggy Phillip's home in Langhorn Pennsylvania. Oh what stresses and strains the "ordered life" produced amongst the very rich and "powerful". I do not envey them at all. They were basicly putting on a performance at all times. It is not an easy life, always keeping "up with the Joaneses".
I enjoyed singing in the choir but God has used that to remind me of how little I have been doing on what he told me to do. The work is before me and I really should do it. I seem to be running into the opposite direction. I now wonder if I can do that work any more. I am really settled in here and yet I feel so uncomfortable in my living situation. It feels so terribly wrong. It is no diffrent than living in one of those mansions I visited, everything is taken care of for me, and yet I am so much at a loss. I am not doing what I think I should be doing. And I am so afraid that if I forge out and do what I think God wants me to do I will get "big headed" as my father used to put it. I was never deemed good enough to have a wife and family, not be successful in art or in preaching or pastoring, nor anything else I have tried a hand at. I just does not feel good to think you are a worthless nobody that can not contribute much at all to life and the "society" is taking care of your minimal needs until you finally hurry up and die.
That review of my life is so depressing. It seems that every time I have had an opportunity to make a decision, I have made the wrong one.
charlie, nektarios ippotis
The info. below is still sort of ok.
I have made a tri-fold resume like a brochure, my doctor said no work for at lest the next 3-6 months, ouch. It was last year, October 18th, when many donated to the Western Massachusetts Arthritis Foundation Walk. My back hurts, my neck hurts, I just plain hurt. I hope people will donate also again this coming fall.
Soon I am helping in the Relay for Life of the American Cancer Society. We had meetings on it this week on the PTK induction ceremony next week but I did not go.
What follows are the new information about my injuries and the progress from my NeuroSurgeon! I am in great pain and have difficulty doing many things.
I said last before that I would probably take them down from here. Now I will keep them up a little longer so you can see what I am having difficulty in healing from.
Click on the images above to go to links to more information
I was released of the braces on the same day as my accident, but 4 months later! BUT NOW I HAVE LOTS OF PAIN. And they do not know why !!!
But the new medicines are helping the pain in the left had some. I thank God for my current Doctor.